Navigating change

“Nothing changes if nothing changes”

Change is hard. Change is personal. But change is necessary for progress.

In the second year of my career, I was frustrated with my job. I worked at a multicultural agency for one of the world’s largest advertisers, alongside some of the brightest minds in the city, but I felt stuck. I wanted to grow faster than the opportunities allowed, so I started looking elsewhere. I interviewed at another agency in Chicago and, in the process, got feedback that cut deep: “People working in multicultural advertising aren’t as capable as those in the general market.”

I.was.livid.

I went to the top advertising school in the country for media, worked with the biggest clients, had strong reviews, and still, I was being judged for the audience I served, not the work that I did. I disagreed vehemently with their feedback, but it scared me. Despite knowing they were wrong, this was the voice of one of the top agencies in the city. Would this perception stunt my entire career?

I vented to my boss about it, and she asked me a pivotal question: Do you want to prove the doubters wrong by staying and making an impact, or switch and leave the fight behind?

At the time, I wasn’t ready to fight the system, so I switched. I think about this decision often, and it has stayed with me since.

Years later, when I was in a position of influence, there was a crisis at an agency that meant a lot to me, that had people I cared about, and I had a chance to be part of systemic change, I ran toward the fight. This time, the fight was bigger, and I loved it. A fight to create a place free of the toxic realities I’d encountered earlier in my career. A place that valued its people and helped them grow to be fearless. A place that prioritized people over profits. A place that discouraged unhealthy competition. A place of good, kindhearted people.

And then we moved mountains. Boulder by boulder, we laid the foundation for a healthy culture that could last. The progress we made is the proudest achievement of my career.

But as we made real progress, something shifted. The desire for change started to fade. As if the initial change was enough. For me, there was still so much more to do, but without a consensus to keep changing, progress slowed drastically.

That’s when I learned something important: You can’t force change. People change themselves.

You can change an environment or situation, but you can’t change someone’s mind or heart. You can only share your perspective, offer your understanding, and hope they’re open to it. Real, sustainable change happens when someone chooses it for themselves. No one can choose your change, and you can’t choose someone else’s.

And learning that changed me. It took me so long to realize it wasn’t a fight at all. I could put down my sword. I could take off my armor. And I could be happy for them that the world they wanted to create is the one they achieved. There is so much beauty in that. And there was a clear realization that there was still a path for me to continue to walk, so I might as well continue the journey.

So yes, be the change you want to see. But once you get beyond yourself, seek out those who want to create that change, too. Because if there is no openness or desire for the change you want, that change is simply not possible.

If you realize that where you are isn’t ready for, or even wanting, the change you envision, that’s okay. Let them live their vision. The right place for your vision is out there. Keep moving toward it.