Live in the now — From Father, To Kid

"I take it not only a day at a time, but a moment at a time. If you can be happy right now, then you’ll always be happy, because it’s always in the now."

Willie Nelson

I am hoping this is one of those lessons that you hear and you simply nod and say "of course, dad!"

The idea is pretty simple -- be mindful and try to live in the now. Learn to appreciate what you currently have. Stop worrying about the past and future and focus on what is right in front of you.

The two issues?

This sounds like it was ripped directly out of a hippy book that had rainbows and butterflies on the next page.
Being present is easier said than done.

To be honest, I don't know what I would find if I researched the positive effects of "being present." I have no idea if it can be substantiated at all. I can't tell you for sure that "being mindful" is going to make you happy.

I have done my fair share of reading self-help books that focus on happiness. For all intensive purposes, I was studying it. Heck, I even attempted to optimize my happiness. What I decided was that while there are many things in life that are not a choice, happiness is. And more importantly, longstanding happiness (as opposed to instant-gratification), is based on my ability to be satisfied with who I am, where I am, and what I have in the current moment.

Saying this is one thing, but it took a lot of reflection and a few struggles to actually believe this. The tipping point for me was understanding what "everything" meant to me in the context of having and possibly losing "everything."

At first, "everything" signified the collective work, fortune and item I had done/owned. I tried to push this perspective to think "what if every material piece that I had acquired, bought or created were gone?" To me, the idea of this was scary, but even scarier was what that meant for my future. Because I, of course, was collection those items so that I would be prepared for the future!

I grew up thinking, and for good reason, that at some point you can't continue "yoloing" around. I grew up thinking that I needed to be responsible and plan for my future.

I think this is a tricky message, because of course I needed to plan for my future. But, that need to plan for my "happy future" left me in a state of waiting for the "happy" that I was planning. I found that there was always something that I wanted to do better, another item I wanted to buy that would make me happy in my future. And that thought process turned into a "grass is always greener on the other side" mentality. And that is a damaging mentality. Why? Because it made my present not good enough. The line of thinking assumed that if this action or item would make me happy in the future, then I must not be happy in the moment.

And that's when I started reflecting and decided there was no reason I can't be happy with exactly what I have. I didn't have to change anything besides my mindset. I had to choose to be happy.

Now let me be clear, it is healthy to have goals and aspirations. It is natural to have regrets and remorse for things past. My point isn't to give those up. Hell, I would be impressed if you even could. My point is to say that this "being present" thing is achievable for anyone, but it is also extremely difficult for everyone.

There is a reason why "being present" feels like something only the Dalai Lama can achieve. Many people say they want to "be present" but why do so many people struggle to do it? Choosing to be happy is the easy part, what is hard is to be content in the moment, especially when your current moment is the least demanding of your attention.

For every subtle "be present" reminder that life sends your way, it sends a knock-you-on-your-butt, in-your-face, seemingly impossible to resist gravitational pull that drags you back to your thoughts and actions that focus on the past and future.

My advise to you is to recognize what your subtle reminders are and take the time when they happen. For me, it is seeing a beautiful sunset. I know it's corny, but sunsets absolutely amaze me. Very few other things put me in a sense of awe and because of this, sunsets have the ability to remind me to pause for a moment. And I'll admit many times, even in the face of these reminders, I still can't pull away. It will be a struggle, but most of the best things in life are.

Find your sunset (or make your own!). Purposely take the time to be present because the only person that will ever make that time is you. Choose happiness.